Meet the Natives

I have never been so stressed so far in my life like today. When I say "so stressed," I mean the worst possible kind of feeling of stress, plus the imminent psychological and physiological disturbances that you don't want to experience. And had the awarding ceremony extended even just for a single minute or two, I will pass out. Good thing I had my stress ball with me which quite helped, but only to a very minimal extent: which only means that my stress hormones earlier were on their highest levels that I barely wasn't able to contain.

To calm the nerves, I went out, at least five times, from that pathetic venue to grab some decent drink. Besides, I already looked really pale, and I felt the paleness. I didn't know what to do. What I did was I just walked in and out the place to normalize my senses, but it didn't work either. SHAME. The agony of waiting for things you expected to come but did not, even just for a peek, really got the best of me.

Anyway, I felt more disappointment than joy over the results. Though I was able to get a silver medal in Sports Writing English, which isn't my forte to begin with, it must be beginner's luck, I felt that my entries in News Writing and, Copyreading and Headline Writing, both in the English division, were very competent. One of the two speakers in News Writing, who's from ABS-CBN, even gave me his calling card. I thought I impressed  him with what I shared during our lecture. Still, I was destroyed at the end. Perhaps it's my fault too of reassuring a win only because he gave me his contact number. How assuming of me.. :((

Meanwhile, in my Copyreading and Headline Writing Category, when the speaker gave the common copy to be edited, I have read some places in Bataan that were unfamiliar to me. If ever they were deliberately presented as wrong or inaccurate information, I never would have known or either guessed, right? And Mariveles "town"? I also didn't know which are the "towns" and which are the "cities" in Bataan. I am not from Bataan, please.. I found this very unfair.

But all is well.. Who am I to question? For now, I am not somebody.

I suggest that the judges per event announce the winners during the awarding next time. I have a gut feeling that the real winners are being replaced. IDK. It just popped out from my mind.. I may be wrong in saying this. But the other half of "the unverified" says, I may be right..

And, I also suggest that the organizers publish the winning pieces so we can actually see proofs of "their" right to win, especially for categories like mine. They are written and only the judges, if it's real that they're exclusive to them, can read, score and "declare" them as winning pieces. By publishing these, we can actually see if the winning articles are deserving than ours. Not like in photojournalism and editorial cartoon, and other events involving visuals, participants of these can see how they place in the competition just by looking the work of their contenders, since artworks are done in illustration boards which everyone can see and judge as well.

As far as I can remember, we went to this regional congress to learn. But if we cannot get feedbacks from our speaker-judges, what is there to look forward to? Manipulated results? WTF. Anu pu ba talaga ang tama? Pano ako matututo, hindi mo naman sinabi. Hindi pu tayo guessing game dito. Every time I think of us, I mean most of the participants, being cheated, though I may be wrong as I've said earlier, I feel disgusted and nauseated. These people are such hypocrites if that's the case.. from the academe pamo. But I'm not saying that all the ten years of this particular organization were schemes: nothing but pure lies and deceptions. I'm talking about my first year as a participant. Because I heard from an adviser, during our free time, that this year's brand of leadership wasn't any better compared with the previous years.

One more, I was happy that we were able to get the 3rd Best News Page. But what made me lose my temper yet again, because I saw the broadsheet issue of the first placer before the awarding, is the thought that they are the first placer. Because in my brutal opinion, "parang hindi naman tama na sila ang first-placer." It's a "PR paper," actually. Hainaku.. I feel very sad. If journalists' first obligation is to tell the truth, why is it being suppressed? I am speechless. Bahala kayo sa buhay nio. Grabiiii kayo. Haha

You know what, I actually waited for this press conference. But with what I experienced, I don't want to attend anymore. T.T Some delegates also tell me so.. I am not alone.