Woke up just fine until now. T.T
I had sisig and garlicky sinangag for brunch while watching the replay of American Idol Top 9 Performance on Star Movies. Drank a sweet soda to remove the sting of onions in my mouth. All of a sudden, I felt stress build up. I know it's not from the food I ate. Of course, it wasn't. It's weird because this exhausting semester just ended. Technically, I have no more classes to attend to. Meaning, nothing more stressful to my system. However, I realized that school has lead me to somewhere I never thought I could even trespass. The moment I reached these places, I never left, psychologically. God knows how burdened I am by the things I'm not quite sure will happen in the near future. I am only small. Clearly, I can feel the remnants of stress.
"Walang maliit na bagay na di nakakapuwing."
Did I spoil myself with big opportunities? Who can blame me, though? Can you? Breaks come very seldom, so seldom that all of us can hardly notice them. But these, they met me into my face. Will I go blind and slowly stray away? Was I pressured? Is it my self-confidence? Is it their trust? Is it God's time? OR... ..Am I just destined for things like these like how others are destined with other stuff?
I came to a thinking that I was overexposed. I did not allow myself say "NO" to things I should have. Perhaps I had so much confidence in me and my abilities during those times, thinking I can catch whatever hurled into my face, big or small-sized. But now, I can feel the pressure, the tension--BIG TIME.
I always had this belief that ang mas nahihirapan, siya ang mas natututo. Still, I just thought now, maybe I had too much of it. Have I grown tired? I guess not. Am I just over-thinking things? Possible. Maybe I loved myself less today than yesteryears... T.T I don't want to think anymore. I'll leave this post this way. The rest is up to me and you.
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